Saturday, January 15, 2011

I Suck At This Game

I miss the days when I was able to dick around at work. It used to be absolutely amazing to me just how fast time flew when I was able to dick around. You want to know why I can't dick around at work? Because I was arrested a couple months ago after opening up a can of whoop-ass on some turd at a bar, and I was almost fired, but they were like, "No! If we fire him, then we're totally low on the Asian quota for the year! We must keep him, but let's always be on his case about shit, and maybe he'll quit!*" Guess what, Microsoft? I'm not going to quit because I like the money you pay me, and looking for other jobs is tough.

*There is a surprisingly low number of Asian people in my department, which is weird, because I'm a software designer.

However, back in those days, I literally spent about two to three hours reading other peoples' blogs, and commenting on their posts like a good blogger should. So yeah, I feel bad that I haven't been doing that, and my excuse is that my bosses are always on my case about one thing or another. Well, the bottom line is, I'm REALLY sorry that I haven't been reading up on your blog (if you have one). I swear to you that I will one of these days.


I'm stuck in a pickle, you guys, and I don't really have anyone in real life to talk about this because most of my friends are either gay or Merkin's friends, so they always tend to side with Merkin. I could call up some of my old friends, but the last time I talked to them, they just told me to start doing drugs again, or they asked me if they can borrow some money.

The pickle that I'm stuck in is that I've started watching Jersey Shore.

Fine, that's not the pickle I'm stuck in, but yeah, I watch Jersey Shore now. I'm surprised I haven't watched it earlier because that is quite possibly the funniest show I've ever seen. But I digress.

I met a girl. I have yet to give this girl a cool nickname, so for now, let's call her Erika because that's what her name is. I actually met her a long time ago because she used to be an intern. She started working full time for us around October, and we're working together on a project for the stupid Windows 7 phone that I'm sure everyone hates.

I'm a procrastinator. I feel that most of my best work is done at the last minute. Because of this, Erika and I would talk about things other than our work. It started with her saying that she saw The Social Network and saying that she really liked it, and I replied with, "Is that the movie with the kid from Zombie Land? The poor man's Michael Cera?" And somehow that got us talking about movies and she let me borrow some of her movies and I let her borrow some of mine, and know how those things go.

Anyway, so Erika and I have gone out a few times. Even though I wanted to, I haven't done anything with her because there's this voice in my head that's like, "MERKIN! REMEMBER HER?!" Like last night, Erika invited me to her house, right? And we ate food, and we were supposed to watch a movie, but I ended up teaching her how to play the guitar. It was a good ol' time. We talked, we laughed, and I made her cry because I told her that she sucks at guitar. The last part's not true...except that she really does suck at guitar and she wasted a good amount of money on a shitty one, but again, I digress. The night ended with us making out a bit before I remembered about Merkin, and I felt super guilty, and I was like, "Thanks for the food. It was good!"

I got home, I told Merkin about what happened, and even though I could tell that she wasn't happy about it, she didn't say anything. Since I felt like a turd, I slept on the couch. Now my neck hurts, and I'm confused because I want to get back together with Merkin but Erika's also really cool and pretty hot. Both women are out of my league and I honestly think that there must be something wrong with them if they think spending time with me is fun.

Anyway, I've got some stuff I gotta figure out.

I wish LOST was still on.


  1. Aww, I'm happy to read that you've met someone and have gone out a couple times. I think it's good that you're being open with Merkin about it if you two are thinking towards working things out. However, I do think (going off what you've stated on here, which obviously isn't the entire story, and also the fact that I don't personally know you so you can take or leave my advice/thoughts) that things would be so much better if you didn't have to live together anymore. I mean, that just screams all kinds of awkward and unhealthy and stifling at me from my limited viewpoint of the situation. I honestly think you just need to allow yourself some space from each other and freedom to see whomever you'd like without guilt thrown at you through a look or tense silence when you come home from being out with someone else.

    Do what's best and healthy for your emotional and mental well-being and try not to totally overanalyze things. I'm guilty of doing that and it totally wreaks havoc on my nerves. However, I will point out your wording cause I find it interesting and possibly very telling..."I'm confused because I want to get back together with Merkin but Erika's...". Not that you're thinking about it or it could be possible, but that you want to. If that's true and not just an ambiguous wording, then you definitely need to have (if you aren't already) some serious conversations with her about where you stand and where you'd both like to go and how to go about getting there. And be honest with Erika about it too, so she doesn't have any false expectations as to what is or isn't going on with the two of you.

    Like you said, there's definitely things to figure out, but there is my input for whatever it is(n't) worth. Also, stop saying that people are out of your league because that's crap.

  2. A new lady?? Man, how times have changed. I'm happy for you, and heartbroken for you at the same time. Oh Tony.

  3. Tony!

    I am a long time reader, first time commenter

    of course they like you, ladies love a guy with a good sense of humor, i saw this show on tv where they had a dj, race car driver and a stand up comedian and they each say how many women they`ve slept with, the comedian won by far!

    My advice is never jump into a new relationship because the old one didn`t work. If you and Merkin don`t work out you will need some time for youself first no?