Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Excuse Me While I Ponder

Awhile ago, I went to see Black Swan, which was a pretty awesome movie. It reminded me a lot about the days when I was a ballet dancer. It was a very competitive time for me, but not only that, it was super hard as well. Okay, I was never a dancer. I'm not even one of those goddamn B-Boyz, either, which is another thing to add on my: "Worst Asian Ever" list. Anyway, so Natalie Portman is pretty hot, right? You'd think that I'd get all turned on by the girl on girl sex scenes and the scene where she masturbates but stops when she sees her mom sleeping in her room (creepy), but honestly, I just found myself squirming and clenching my butt cheeks like crazy.

I don't know what that has to do with anything, but I just felt that I had to share.

Merkin and I watched that movie Easy-A last night. It's funny, because back when I was a youngin', I used to think Amanda Bynes was the hottest chick ever. But now...not so much. I could get into detail about why I don't think she's hot anymore, but I'm going to be a gentleman about it and just say that she resembles a balloon tied to a string. Maybe she has allergy problems or something that causes her cheeks to swell to the size of mini watermelons? I don't know, and it's not my place to judge.

But speaking of women, and Easy-A, I'm quite attracted to that Emma Stone chick. It's weird, because I'm 90% sure that if she wasn't in all of these awesomely hilarious movies like Superbad, and Zombie Land, and I saw her walking down the street, I wouldn't even do a double take. It makes me wonder if I was famous, would people find me hot? It's something to ponder about, don't you think? I mean, I have a bunch of screenplay ideas, and maybe I can be like Sly Stallone when he wrote Rocky, and only sell those screenplays as long as I could be the lead actor. But then, has any woman every found Sly Stallone attractive? There's something else to ponder.

Well, I hope you kids had a fun, safe, holidays! Seriously, I have nothing to write about. I feel bad because there are people actually following me now.


  1. Well, I am not sure if I want to see Black Swan anymore. Maybe I'll stick to the happy ones like How Do You Know. Because really, I just like movies that end happily and I feel like Black Swan is going to f with that.

    Anywho, even if you have nothing to talk about, post anyway! No love lost. =)

  2. It's ok, I got my "Worst Asian Ever" list piling up too. Man, I dated a B-Boy. He had a unicorn blanket and a hair straightener. Apparently single-hand handstands are called "boners" in their lingo.

    Black Swan was creepy crazy insane.

    Keep writing. I'm a fairly new follower but I do love your blog.

  3. I've been wanting to see Black Swan since it came out and just haven't made it to the theatre. At least not for that movie. Looks like it'll be a rental for me, which is fine...then I can fast-forward through awkward getting off with mom in the room, GAH!

    I have never, ever found Sylvester Stallone attractive. Ever. I did have a huge Jean-Claude Van Damme crush when I was a youngster until I found out he was a bit of a douchebag in real life and then my interest fell. However, I could still quote almost any line from Bloodsport with no problem because yes, I've seen it that many times. It's sad...I know.

    Mission accomplished with gaining back some of your old followers, wooo! Hope your holidays went well, too. :)

  4. I wasn't sure if I wanted to watch Black Swan or not. But girl on girl action? I'm in.

    Sly Stallone gives me the creeps.

  5. I just saw black swan last night. It was amazing, but I'm pretty sure I had my eyes closed most of the time. Too much blood and stuff, not that I'd change any of that.

    (I'm also a new follower! I started reading your blog just before you deleted most of the entries :) )

  6. Well Zombie Land was pretty good and I don't even like Zombies, so I suppose emma stone is alright. Black Swan, no thank you.