Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Asshole Face

When I first started my old blog, I started it for two reasons:

Reason #1: I bought an engagement ring for Merkin, and I was super nervous, and my goal was to write about my nervousness.

Reason #2: I was bored.

It turned out that shortly after starting my blog, after spending hours that turned into days that turned into two weeks planning on how to propose to Merkin, that I just proposed to her in our bedroom. No lasers were involved which makes me sad, but hey, I might get a second chance. More on that later. Anyway, so I started writing about other stuff that happened in my life. I guess, when I first started, I was sort of an asshole blogger in that I talked about weird/stupid people that I've known throughout my life. I once had this extremely long post about exes which I might write again if I get so bored. That one wasn't that mean, in fact, it just made me look dumb for having dated the kind of girls that I've dated.

But one ex had a special 3-part post written about her. It started off mean, but when it all winded down, I think I wrote it in a way that made you feel sorry for her and made you understand all of her crazy. And I ended up feeling bad about myself for having dated her for about two years, but that's okay. I learned an important lesson and that was to not just date someone because you feel bad for them.

The reason I'm bringing this up is because I'm going to do something very assholey. I'm going to repost a message she sent me on myspace when we first started dating. Why? Because I'm in an asshole mood, AND I personally find it funny but very sad for more reasons than her terrible grammar.

Before I post, I should fill in the new readers who probably haven't read my older posts on my old blog.

What drove her to write me this message was because at this point, we had been dating for about two weeks. During that time, I learned a few things about her, and about how crappy other dudes she'd dated had treated her like shit. I figured that I should do something nice for the girl, so I made her a mix CD (remember those?) and wrote her a letter. I forget what the letter said, but it was probably something along the lines of, "You deserve to have...blah blah blah."

In turn, she wrote me this gem back, via Myspace.

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: her
Date: Feb 10, 2006 11:58 PM

hey did you get this lik huge email i wrote you?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: me
Date: Feb 11, 2006 1:30 AM

No....what did it say?

----------------- Original Message -----------------
From: her
Date: Feb 11, 2006 9:20 AM

r u serious! gay.. okay well.. i didnt kno that u wrote me a letter right so when i got home i opened the cd case and i saw it.. so i started readin it.. and i started crying.. lol that was the sweetest letter i hav ever gotten lik seriously no one has ever said anything to me even close to that! lik wow and how you went about the whole thing.. lik the rose and the cd with love songs on it that u said reminded you of me.. lik that is seriously lik my dream gift that i wanted from a guy! wow i was so amazed.. lik i sat and thought about it for lik an hour.. and wow i love you so much!!!! you are sucha sweet person serioulsy!!! and ahh i really dont want you to leave me.! but yeah wow i just want you to kno how much i care about you and how much i love you and how much that letter and everything you do fo me means to me!!!!! ive never had someone be as nice as you are and i thank you for that!!! i love you more than you kno!! theres sonethings about me that you dont kno but if you did u would c how much we hav in common.. lik with the passed and everything.. but yeah i love you forever and ever!!!!!!

Man, I'm such an asshole...I'm not even going to try to redeem myself for posting that not once, but TWICE (previously posted on my old blog)!

So what does that have to do with anything?

I don't know. I'm kind of feeling like an asshole.

Actually, there was a point to that, but I just got bombarded with crap to do. Eventually, it was going to tie back to how Merkin and I are back together (in my head, it was really deep and artistic), but I guess that's going to be a post for another day! Work is stupid!


  1. I can't believe I made it through that email with cutting myself. Actually, you know what...I've got to go now. *slice*

  2. Wait. Waiwaiwai. You and Merkin are back together?? This is AWESOME!! I can't (lik) wait for the post!

  3. Aww, I'm happy you two are back together. Heh, I remember seeing that on the old blog. I'm sorry, but I can't help but immediately judge someone with such horrible grammar and spelling. I'm fine with text speak for, you know, TEXTS and occasionally on something like twitter. But if you're writing an email or a proper letter you better know how to actually, oh I don't know...write. It just makes her look like she's thirteen with a seven-year-old spelling ability. Actually, I saw something written by a seven-year-old last weekend and I'm pretty sure it was better spelling than that.

  4. What was the thing that you didn't know about her that would show how much you have in common?? Sounds juicy...

    Thats cool you and Merkin are back together, you obviously love her. I hope she doesn't keep being friends with douchbags because she's too nice - or something - to tell them to fuck off!!

    I think it was on you old blog, but can you please say again why you call her Merkin? Because isn't a merkin, like, a minge-wig? I think I would be pissed if that was my boyfriends name for me.

  5. So glad you two are back together! Also, the email was awesome...awesome as in lik awful. ;)

  6. but why are you in a crappy mood then, if you two got together?

    i'm happy for you, if you're happy for you :)

  7. haha, sometimes when people are assholes, it's funny. like now, for instance. but sometimes when people are assholes, like texting their ex-girlfriends all night, that's not so funny. maybe it will be funny one day, but it's not right now.

    i'm really glad you and merkin are back together =) that. is. AWESOME.