Wednesday, December 1, 2010

New Blog

Oh, old blog. How I miss thee. You were so simple...just white...there used to be a picture of my sexy body with my man, Jake Gyllenhaal. Why did you have to go?

I'll tell you why.

My boss found my old blog, Memoirs of a Korean, and while he thought it was funny, I just didn't want the guy reading my shit. There are certain things that a boss shouldn't know, you know? Well, that's what I get for leaving my blog open at work. Oopsies.

So I'm starting over. I got a total of 3 (!) votes on Twitter, and of the 3 (!), T-Bag This won. I personally like it better than Memoirs of a Korean, especially in these dark and troubling times when good ol' Kim Jung is going batshit claygee. So what can you expect from this blog? I honestly don't know. Probably the same stuff: random thoughts, random bitching, and more random stuff.

So I only have one story to tell you folks today. Remember when I told you guys about the foreign exchange student that Merkin's parents were hosting, and they asked if Merkin and I could hang out with her, and all that other stuff? Well, they did. If you don't remember, that's your problem.

The other day, I bought Merkin a cheap ring. Seriously, it was like 6 bucks. She wanted it, but she didn't have her wallet with her, so I just bought it for her. The FES was there as well. So after I got the ring for her, we all started walking around the U-District, and this fellow comes up to me and asks me if I could spare some cash. I couldn't because I hate carrying cash around, because I'm one of those people that never puts their money in their wallet after they buy something and get change. So I put the money in random pockets, and I forget about the money. Eventually, laundry day comes, and sometimes it feels like I won the jackpot or something, but most of the time, I forget to check my pockets and I end up washing the money. Anyway, so I told this fellow, "Sorry, big fella, I don't have any money."

But this guy kept on persisting. He was a determined little bugger. Eventually, after about a minute, the FES speaks up, and she was pointing at Merkin and she was like, "He just buy her ling! He habba no money!"

I guess that story's more funny if you were actually there. But...I am out of time. I shall be back soon and tell you all about the time that my sister and her fat friend came to visit, and I found an Oreo under her fat friend's air mattress. Actually, I just told you that story...shit!


  1. I'm so happy that you're still going to blog. Your posts always make my days better. Seriously.

    I think I would have minor internal crises if I were with you and saw you just shoving money into random pockets. I'm a little OCD when it comes to money and its neatness. If I know I have messy money in my pockets or wallet, I actually need to take a minute to straighten it and get everything in order. I would never force my habits on someone else and it's not like if I saw it happening I'd bust out with an, "Oh my god fix your money it's driving me crazy!" or anything. Just an internal cringe, lol. Anyway, very glad you're back. :)

  2. Even though you used to comment on all my posts and now no longer even visit, I'm a pretty loyal person. So here I am.

    Did she lick the filling out of the oreo before putting it under the air mattress?

  3. "He habba no money!" Hahah I wasn't there but I find it terribly funny. Maybe because I've known enough FES that I can totally appreciate that.
    I was also pretty terrible and trying to corrupt the sweet, innocent, FES girls. Like taking them to a nude beach (they even took pictures and shit), colouring their hair, piercings, drinking, smoking.....kissing. Not me you perves (sigh oh how I wished!).