2010 isn't done for another month, but I figured that I should write something because I have an incredible amount of free time at the moment. So I've been trying, very halfheartedly, to promote this new blog of mine on Twitter. If I was trying with all of my heart, I'd probably tweet the new blog every minute or so, but I think that would get pretty annoying. I'm sure that I got all of my readers from Allie over at Hyperbole and a Half. Honestly, I'd be pretty happy if she didn't link me this time, because people I know in real life have found the old Memoirs of a Korean blog, and for the posts that weren't about Merkin, they'd be like, "Dude, are you writing about me?" Most of the time, the answer is yeah. I don't know too many people.
But back to 2010. Oh, what an awkward, crappy year it was. I did get a new car, though. Yes, I have gotten rid of my sorority girl, maroon, Jetta, and I know drive a Nissan Maxima. It's black, so it's pretty manly. And it's fast, so that must mean I have a small peter. But that is neither here nor there, although, since I'm Asian, that pretty much tells you everything you need to know about my peter.
2010 started off with me attempting a back flip and breaking my toes. At that moment, I realized that I am a fat man that used to be skinny and tried to live in the golden years of when I had abs. After the back flip, toe breaking incident, I got my wisdom teeth removed. That hurt, and I cried. Then LOST started up again, and I cried some more. When LOST was over, I cried again. So it's safe to say that I cried a lot in 2010, but hey, I'm a softy. Then my appendix died, Merkin got in a car accident, I made a vlog that's probably still out there somewhere, Merkin and I broke up....
There was a brief period of time when Little Merkin lived with us. That was fun...I remember picking her up from her friends' houses, and learned the ways of suburban homies.
So that was my 2010 in a nutshell. It wasn't the happiest of times.
A big issue in 2010 was the bullying. Back in 2009, it was cool to be gay. But in 2010, Sarah Palin got her own show, and people were just so frustrated by it that they took their anger out on the gays. Well, that's what it seemed like to me. Anyway, I, for one, have no problem with gay people. One of my best friends is gay, and he's probably the sweetest kid I know. Does that mean he has a crush on me? Probably not. Actually, I asked him once if he ever wanted to do me.
Me: "So...Mitch...you're gay...."
Me: "Hypothetically speaking, if I was gay, would you ever want to...stick it in my butt?"
Mitch: "No. Honestly, I don't know how or why Esther would ever sleep with you."
Me: "Are you saying I'm ugly?"
Mitch: *takes a sip of his drink, long pause* "........................let's just say that if you were gay, you might have a hard time finding a boyfriend."
Me: "....So you're saying I'm ugly?"
Mitch: "I never said that."
Me: "Even if you were really, really drunk, you wouldn't sleep with me?"
Mitch: "If you were gay, I wouldn't even drink with you."
Pfft, what does Mitch know? Last year, I went to a gay bar and I got hit on by THREE guys, so in HIS face.
But anyway, making fun of people is wrong. I'm guilty of it, but I know it's wrong. It's something I can't help. It's not like I go up to a random fat person and be like, "HA! You're in a wheelchair because you're fat!" I don't make fun of people about the way the look, because like my gay friend, Mitch, said, I'm not much of a looker myself. I think I make fun of people in a different way.
Take high school, for example. Everyone talks about how they were teased and shit in high school, and I guess I came out easy, because apart from a few SARS jokes in my senior year, I wasn't made fun of. Anyway, I gave a couple of kids a hard time. There's no denying that. But I think I was going pretty easy on them, based on the fact that I didn't make them hate themselves to the point where they contemplated suicide, I made them hate me.
There was this kid in my History class one year. He was a goth kid, back when being goth was cool. So obviously, he hated the world for no reason. One day, we were talking about religion in class, and the goth kid went off on Jesus. It wasn't, "I don't believe in Jesus!" He was like, "Jesus sucks, he's a rapist, and he deserved to die." It's safe to assume that he hated Jesus, and while I'm not the most religious person in the world, I decided to have a little fun with goth kid. The next day, my friend and I brought a bible to school, and started reading verses in class. You see, we sat next to the kid in a cluster. Don't you miss desk clusters? I do. I stare at a grey wall everyday. And it was just fun seeing the kid get all pissed. I mean, he really hated Jesus, you know?
So, in my opinion, that is how you should give a person a hard time. By making them hate YOU instead of themselves. I mean, if you're going to make fun of somebody, be clever about it. Don't go around calling a kid fag over and over or saying stuff like, "Don't touch him! He has AIDS!" The only thing funny about AIDS is the origin story about the dude that supposedly had sex with a monkey, and who even knows if that's true? I mean, if you REALLY want to give a gay kid a hard time, then just keep asking him for fashion advice.